"Hi Jim. Is this a good time to chat for a few minutes?”
“I want to tell you about my XYZ project. But first, I know you’ve been having some health challenges. How are you?”
They talked about Jim’s health for a moment or two. Jim said he was fine and didn’t elaborate any more.
“Jim, I want to tell you about my XYZ project. Have you had a chance to take a look at the website?”
“Yes. Looks great. You’ve been busy.”
“I sure have. I have more changes to make. It’s pretty exciting. Did you see that new sample of the ABC product?”
“Yep. I like what you’ve created there. Looks like it would be very useful for camping.”
“Thanks. I haven’t seen your order come through yet.” Bob had a big grin and chuckled a little at his own light-hearted comment.
“I haven’t ordered one yet. I will though. I have to run now. Good bye.”
Bob called me about an hour later. Bob was upset. Jim cut him off. Bob was concerned about Jim’s health and also wanted to share his ABC product with Jim. Jim’s tone of voice and rather abrupt close to the call were out of character.
Bob and Jim have been friends for several years. Time has a way of creating a distance sometimes. Yet – Bob was hopeful that Jim would buy an ABC and give a good review.
Whatever is going on with Jim is going on with Jim. Bob did his best. He is compassionate and kind.
As Bob and I talked, we uncovered the gift in all of this.
Bob is building a business. He needs to focus on creating positive energy and optimism. Jim sent a clear message. Don’t bother me. Jim’s rather negative attitude started to bring Bob down. Until --- we discovered the gift. Bob can move on and find more positive results with the next call.
In fact, Bob’s next call was to a colleague he hadn’t connected with for a while. They had a very nice chat and will be following up next week.
Heed what you feed.
Bob could continue to be upset by the conversation with Jim. He can’t control Jim’s response. He can only control his own.
Bob chose to focus on the positive conversation he had right after the call with Jim. The more time Bob spends focusing on the positive conversations, the more conversations will be positive.
The Jims of the world will continue to surprise him (and me) from time to time. People get mixed up in their stories and history.
True encouragement comes from understanding – a little – that Jim might be facing some challenges and needs to have some private space.
Bob agreed to continue to have kind thoughts about Jim and wish him well. Bob committed to focusing on the fabulous future he’s creating. He does that by letting go of the NO’s and saying yes to trusting the right people are showing up for his products.
Hi, Denny Stockdale here. I'm known as a positive change strategist and an Encourager.